Fading memory

I have been wondering when it is that the memory of having had breast cancer will fade and the treatments will be less vivid in my mind??? Of course I know now that this is my experience and identity but I get flashbacks and they take me by surprise often making me feel scared all over again! The facts are fine and how I handled the whole things is fine but the thought of being ill again fills me with dread..... I don't share this much with family as it scares them and why speculate...... it is a matter of balance and getting things into perspective. I am very strong but at the same time I am human and so need to be kind to myself and give myself permission to be... in time the memories will fade. Does anyone else have comments?