Giving bad news

It is coming up for my 2 years anniversary of the bc diagnosis and I am feeling good.. very good..in comparison to that fateful day when my whole world collapsed around me. In fact, I am positively marvellous and so full of energy I even surprise myself some days! I am so looking forward to the day when I completely forget the actual date and skip over it - like forgetting a birthday - although I don't see having had bc as negative per se but the day I was given the news was horrendous. If you already know this forgive me for repeating. It was June 7th 2006, I attended the hospital 'one stop' clinic alone, my choice as I thought it would be nothing and as this was a suggested precautionary visit by my GP why not go it alone. Anyway, I am hard, from Yorkshire, can deal with anything!!! After various tests, biopsies (ouch they hurt) and examinations 3hours have passed and I am called into the see the doctor. One of the first things he said was ' who is out in the waiting room?' I said 'lots of women, some came after me and others since'.. I did wonder why he wanted to know about this.. anyway he then said ' no, no what I mean is who is with you?' 'O, no one' I said. He then looked uncomfortable and proceeded to say he had bad news, it was serious, I had breast cancer.....there was a nurse in the room whom I had not seen before, she just sat there and staring at me., I thought her presence was a bit odd. I was sure they had mixed me up with another patient and I asked them to check and double check and that they had the correct file. They had and it was true. O, my I was so sure they had made a mistake I thought ..ok I will go along with them for now..... I opened my work diary to arrange admission for surgery looking for a day that fitted into my work schedule....... what? Then I just broke down crying, screaming, swearing and unable to breath... this was so not happening, but it was and to me. I remember saying ' I am such a nice person, I have lots of friends, a good loving family..... I had plans, big plans, things do and see.... why could it not happen to some scumbag?' The next few hours are a complete blurr to me, I know that I drove home and began telling everyone......... I will talk more about this next week. I look back now and think what have I learnt? How much I have achieved and how well I was supported - amazing. Apart from writing this blog, for which I feel committed as a way to help others, I would not be recounting this day in so much detail, except that I can see the funny side and feel it is such a tough job to give bad news.... but there is a good and bad way!!! Mine was good.